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Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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