Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
