peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
