What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
