My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
