can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
