Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
