oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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