I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
