I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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