do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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