So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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