I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
