We named our party play list daddy issues
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
