For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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