Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Terrible idea I love it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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