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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Fuck appropriateness.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
