hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
