So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
