her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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