Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You're like the curious george of whores
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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