you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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