i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
