i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
