i need an iv and a liver transplant
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
