If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
