my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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