his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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