Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
How naked do you want me to be?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
