Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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