Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
