Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
