You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
