I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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