he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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