You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
