You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
