He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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