turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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