we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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