who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize