I think im going to throw up on grandma
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
