Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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