i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
