Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
