i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
