OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
