Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
