I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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