I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
