morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
