He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
