At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How does one acquire holy water?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
